The Key to Personal Development: How to Cultivate True Grit

June 9, 2007

There is only one key to personal development and goal achievement. There is one secret that can unlock every door you want to open for yourself. That secret is determination. As soon as you learn to reach deep down inside yourself and find the determination to achieve what you want, you can conquer anything. The problem for most people is that they do not cultivate determination within themselves, they cultivate desire. Desire is not enough. We all desire things in our lives, but desire is only something we would like to have, it isn?t something we need.

Determination–need–is the key to achieving every goal you?ve ever thought about going for. The difference between desire and determination is the difference between cake and air. If you never had another piece of cake again in your life, you?d still go on living just fine; disappointed and thinner, maybe, but fine. If you never had air again you would, in fact, be dead. Determination should feel like air. Getting determined about a goal should feel like it becomes the lifeblood that sustains you. You desperately need to fulfill that goal and if you don?t you feel that you may just die trying. That is a joyous thing to behold when it strikes you. It comes rarely if it comes at all but it will strike you like the love the old-timers talked about: when you feel it, you’ll know.

Most people, however, will never get to that point of determination. They read so many personal development books and blogs that tell them they need to create a burning desire for what they want and they need to think about it every day to confirm that. But THAT?S NOT ENOUGH. Reminding yourself every day that you want something may help you vibrationally attract it, but to really bring it to yourself you must create not only a desire but an all encompassing need to achieve your goal.

Beware the False Motivation

Finding the point of determination, like anything worth having, isn?t easy. It takes time to get yourself in the right mind set to find true determination. So many people hear a speaker or, read an article and they get really keyed up about the idea of finding a better job, or making more money, or loosing weight. They get incredibly excited about this goal for about a week and soon after that they?ve gone back to their old, familiar state of wishing for it. That isn?t determination; that is a transitory burst of motivation. That?s what you feel when you run the last leg of a marathon and you can see the finish line. It’s a last ditch grab for instant gratification. The problem is that they don?t see the finish line, they see a mirage and as soon as they realize how much farther they are from completion than they thought, they give up all together and go back to their fantasy land.

Fantasy land is what most us like to stay in because it?s so much safer and, in many cases, it?s really all we want. We dream about being famous and having a giant yacht that we can sail around the world on, but deep inside that isn?t really want we want. It?s what we want to fantasize about, not what we wish to acquire. That?s the first step to getting determined. Find out what it is you really and truly want, and once you find it, you’ll see nothing else but that.

Getting of the Exit Clearly Marked ?The Zone?

It will take days, maybe weeks for this desire to grow into determination, but once it does you?ll know. In that time as you cultivate this determination, refrain from doing anything that will help you on your way to achieving that goal. If you want to find a better job, don?t look around yet, don?t apply somewhere else or quit your job yet. If you want to loose weight, don?t diet, don?t exercise. Do nothing different. Wait to begin your process because that beginning is going to be your barometer of your determination. As soon as you have to hold yourself back from throwing out all your junk food and going for a run, that?s when you know you?re determined to loose weight. When you begin the journey to your goal and the thought of giving it up and not achieving it makes you feel like you?re going to throw up, that?s when you?re determined. That is The Zone right there. That is where the money is.

When You Got It, Keep It.

But don?t be fooled into thinking that determination only comes once and stays forever. It doesn?t work that way. You have to work for that determination every day when you get out of bed and remind yourself of what you want and why you want it and you psych yourself up for one more day of determined work. That?s what it takes. It?s as if you?re growing determination in a vegetable garden; some days all it needs is some water, sometimes you?re going to have replant the whole crop. The beauty of determination, however, is that you?ll work harder to gain it and every day you maintain it will become easier and easier, until all it takes is a word or a picture to get you fired up for the whole day.

Don?t get discouraged if can?t find that level of determination on your goals right away. There?s nothing written anywhere that says you have to achieve your goals in record time. Remember that if it is worth achieving, it is worth taking your time and doing right. Determination in and of itself is a goal. Remember that. Determination will get you to every goal and over every self improvement hurtle that comes into your path, but your first goal must be to get determination itself.

Don?t rush it; cultivate it carefully to get the best results you can. As soon as you?re leaping at the end of your chain to reach your goal, as soon as you can see and think of nothing else, you know you?re ready for the harvest. Get determined or go home.

Posted in Being Proactive, Determination, Fear, Goal Setting, Motivation, Self Improvement, Success, The Mind