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In the last week I’ve had my share of set backs and tonight they had begun to take their toll. I was feeling quite down and began to do what I always do when I’m overwhelmed by my feelings. I took out my journal and started writing down everything I felt and why I felt the way I did. Once that list was made I confronted every one of my emotions on the list and found a way to turn it into a positive force. Well, in the middle of this exercise, I got a call from a friend I haven’t seen in nearly two years. He and I were great friends, but had drifted apart due to living at opposite ends of the state. Answering my phone tonight showed me just how the forces of the universe can bring you what you need, even when you don’t know to ask for it.

My good friend Parker has been through more in a short time than I could even imagine. He’s lost a lot along the road, but gained a lot of perspective about himself, his world and a keen sense of where he wants to be. I learn more from Parker than even he knows. They are lessons I’ve learned before and forgotten over time. It always takes someone like Parker to remind me of those old lessons and it’s his wisdom that I want to share with you now.

Five Things I Re-learned From My Friend Parker:

1.Life is a Trail, not a Racetrack – Sometimes we get so caught up in the results that we fail to see what’s happening along our path. We see our life as a racetrack that we must run as fast as we can. We see our success as the finish line. We see results as something that, once achieved, will mean never having to run the race again. This isn’t the case however. We don’t get to stop running our race just because of one success. There is always more to pursue. The results we seek aren’t the end of our journey. Results are just stepping stones that lead down a never ending trail. If we ever get to the end of the trail there will be nothing left for us to do. I imagine life would be very boring after that.

2.I Didn’t Hear No Bell – The game isn’t over until it’s over. You’re still on your feet, bobbing, weaving, breaking tackles and making sports metaphors. Why are you giving up before that bell? The fat lady may be warming up, but she hasn’t started singing yet so it’s never to late to silence that shrew once and for all. Too many people make the excuse that their too old, too young, too fat, too thin, too unqualified to do whatever it is they want to do. This is never true. You can accomplish anything in the physical world right up until the bell rings. If you’re not dead yet, there is still time for anything! Now get in their and show the fat lady who’s boss.

3.There is Nothing So Big – There isn’t anything too big for you to overcome. When you look at your life as one long, never ending journey you begin to realize that everything passes eventually. Though things might seem bad at the moment, this too shall pass. Think back on everything that has occurred in your life and you’ll realize that you’ve never failed yet to come out the other side of your problems. Sure, sometimes you came out a little worse for wear, but now it’s years down the road and you’re back on your feet, wiser for the experience. You’ve never failed before, you certainly won’t start now. Trust yourself, you’ll make the right choices, you always have.

4.Everyone Needs a Connection – Even for an introvert like myself, a positive human connection is not only beneficial, but absolutely necessary for healthy survival. I adore being alone for most of the time and I despise being in large groups, but a one-on-one connection with another person is absolutely critical in my life. We all have our problems and we all think we can get through them ourselves, but sometimes all we need is a kind, positive connection with someone else, even if it’s just for a moment of empathy. Don’t be afraid to seek this connection out. You may feel like a burden, but just remember that you’ll always be there to reciprocate when your friend needs the same comfort.

5.Be Yourself No Matter What They Say – If there is one thing I can say that I truly envy about Parker it’s that he’s always been nothing but himself. He’s weird, he’s clever, he’s strangely brilliant. He’s many things and he’s never tried to be anything at all. He’s had more problems than he deserves and yet through it all he’s kept his eye on a better version of himself that he strives for every day. Not once has he ever pretended to be anything he isn’t and I admire him for that. He just exists, seemingly without the need to be anyone other than who he is. If only the rest of us could do the same, think of how much happier we could be, even in the face of adversity.

After the phone call was over, I realized that I didn’t even have to finish my listing exercise. Parker made me feel better just by being a kindred spirit in a time of trouble. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that sometimes the universe does give you just what you need to get you through the night. It may come in a package you don’t expect, it may come from the most unlikely source, but it will always come. And just in case you were wondering, life is getting better for both Parker and me. This list helped me greatly, I hope it can help you too.

Thanks, Parker,
–DR